"Some little girls grow up wanting ponies. I always wanted to be a widow."

Trying to find people who understand my sense of humor



I am pretty pleased with myself for supporting bi visibility day by talking to anyone who would listen at work about how I would gladly marry Oona Chaplin if she’d have me. I didn’t even do it on purpose; I just really want to marry Oona Chaplin.


I’m trying hard to live by Cat Principles.

1- I am glorious above all things
2- Eat when hungry, sleep when sleepy, play when bored
3- Affection is given and received on my terms and only mine
4- Show displeasure clearly.
5- NO
6- Demand the things you want. If they aren’t given, demand them again, but louder this time.
7- If you are touched when you don’t want to be, say so. If they continue to touch you, make them bleed.




i find it interesting that when it comes to liking girls I’m just like GIRLS ALL GIRLS YES PERFECT GIRLS but with boys i’m like you must fit criteria 1-9 but 9 is optional only if you completely fill criteria 10-13 with a non-optional essay on 21st century sexism due by 5am

I don’t call that interesting. More like “prejudice” “discrimination” or “inherent bias”

could someone please come pick up their crying child

I did so many adult chores this weekend! I am god of September!



ppl who constantly radiate bad vibes are so exhausting like how are you always so that way

This night has devolved into sobbing and watching Finding Neverland while the cat glares at me.

The problem: I am cripplingly lonely/touch starved, but have no friends/hate meeting new people. Also, even if I didn’t hate meeting new people, I don’t want new people, I want people I’m already comfortable with and like.

The solution: Idk, bribe my sister to move here or something.

Look at this dumb baby

Look at this dumb baby